crimsonwinter

sigh

2009-05-28T01:56:30Z

I'm back
and so is
the weight

5

2007-12-22T10:01:59Z

So I have 5 kilos to go till I reach the wieght the book says I should be.
which isn't bad, really.
I've eaten a lot of banana cake this week that hasn't been made with splenda, oops, and erm I've bought a bit to much chocolate.
Its been very hard on this gluten free diet, you get very hungry and its hard to find food that is quick and easy to carry aorund with you, that fills you.
need to get back on track, so I can budge these 5 kilos

measurements

2007-12-13T21:34:50Z

Since my first measurments on Feb 19th 2008 I have lost the following

Neck: 2.5cm
Upper arm: 5cm
Chest: 15cm
Waist: 19cm
Abdomen: 17cm
Hips: 20cm
Upper leg: 17cm
Calf: 8.5cm

I bought for my new uniform a size Small top from Max and two size 14 pants from Ezibuy :o)

I've yet to find out how much I weigh.

cravings

2007-11-05T02:31:02Z

So I've been going it alone, I've no idea what I weigh if I weigh myself on the mother inlaws scales I've gained 200gms since my last ww meeting back in early october late september but I've never used her scales before if I go by my clothes I've lost a bit more.

I think too that I've figured out I get a huge craving for takeaways and chocolate when I've lost more than a couple of grams, I believe its my body paniking and wishing to get the fat back so it send out signals it wants junk, and battling that has been hard, so I've met it have way and I don't feel half as gluggly as I did when I binged.

I'm returnign to ww meetings at the end of this month/ early december, we've had a few bills that aren't plesant and I will try a new group.

quitting ww or not

2007-10-12T10:04:33Z

biggest thing on my mind is to quit or not, to go on line or not.
I'm not satisfied
My leader can be good at times. The first time I had her I asked for a transfer straight away, I felt empowered at her meetings, I no longer do.
They only just logged my address and stuff on my card, she has never checked my book, I asked her with a whole pile of doubt if I'd calculated my next goal after I'd receached my 10% and she said sure, i don't think she understood me, as I've gone straight from 10% to goal have I even got the right goal? The more I read other peoples posts the more I doubt I have, and hang on aren't I paying her to help me?
It seems I pay to get weighed, listen to her talk about all the chocolate she has eaten, and ask us all the chat and then I go home. The goldfish bowl isn't helping.
I'm losing my battle, I'm down, how long will this last?

Going back to basics

2007-10-08T23:20:57Z

I don't get it, I'm really not that clued up at the moment, we are falling fast into our old habbits of takeaways and the bank balance is showing it and so is my figure.

I think I need to go back to writing every days food down, because I seem to foget that its not been a week but only two days since I ate more than my fair share.

Up at 6am, nervous,

Breakfast:
Gluten Free fruit cereal Soya milk
Coffee, splenda, soya milk

walked from home to colombo 5min
colombo to madra 8 mins

snax
Gluten free chocolate nut bar
1 fruitee ww

madra to colombo 8min
colombo to home 5 min

2 pices of dincklebread, floria lite
coffee soya milk
400ml water
1/2 a roll of tuna sushi with1 tsp ww mayo
Aunty Betties Vanilla Rice engery drink

where have my brains gone

2007-10-05T10:17:33Z

Okay so I gained last week, so why is it I had pizza last night and take aways this evening?

Forgive me for I have sinned.

2007-10-04T00:31:42Z

I had chicken nachos for breakfast.
In my defence I haven't needed lunch
the chicken needed eating up
its the last day i will be home of the school holidays with just son and me
there was no ceral
there was no bread
and gward dammit I dreamed of them all night.

Now I'm going to put my new dress in plain sight and remind myself that if I gain weigh I'm going to look like I'm squished into it as its tight enough.

:p

gimme chocolate

2007-10-02T04:01:26Z

and lots of it
sigh

not so bad a day

2007-10-01T21:28:21Z

Okay so yesterday I tried some self control, The only slip up I had was some extra Rye bread and some corn chips.
Breakfast coffee and fluten free fruit ceral.
Lunch was good, baked potato lite cottage cheese, chicken bits, carrot lettice cucumber, salsa
Dinner was
chicken bits, zucihini, brocilli, carrot, stir fry 1tsp rice oil, gluten free pasta with juice of one lemon and a hand ful of fresh basil.

snaks where a youghurt soya milk fresh banana frozen berry smoothie, two pieces of rye bread with marg, handful of gluten free corn chips with chedder cheese flavoring and another banana, I did manage 800ml of water and a 1/2 hour walk.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

2007-09-26T04:28:02Z

Man this day suxed.
so much bad crap happend today it wasn't funny so what do I do?
eat crap sheeesh.

SO TIRED

2007-09-20T02:45:30Z

I lost the extra I put back on and a a few more grams.
I'm so shattered though, like @ 2pm I'm doing the dishes and my eyes are closing. I have no engery when I'm walking.
I'm not even depressed at the moment.

Goldfish bowl meetings

2007-09-17T22:31:11Z

The room that ww lease for our meetings is a corner building on a very busy crossing in the city, there are a set of traffic lights and foot traffic crossings either side of the building and 3 more of each facing the building. It takes a lot to walk into the building as it is in such an exposed area, the two external walls of our room are glass from floor to ceiling, with a wide orange band running around the building which only exposes your feet and if really tall your head.
3 weeks ago the owners took down the orange band on the windows that face the middle of the intersection, its honestly like a goldfish bowl!
Everyone sitting/ standing at the lights are looking straight at the room, and everything is as clear as mud.
The first week it happened I felt extremely exposed I was thankful I hadn't planned to stay as I had a lunch date. I missed last week as I was called into work. I walked past yesterday to see if they had fixed the problem and they haven't. If I go tomorrow and the leader doesn't say they are covering them back up or we are moving location, I will stop going. This is a personal issue for me, I don't mind sharing with other ww members and close family, but to sit in a glass room into middle of the busy city, is not my cup of tea.
As I only walk / bus there is no other ww meeting location for me, I can't believe the building owners have done this.
I hope tomorrow I return with brighter news.

crimsonwinter @ 2007-09-16T20:02:00

2007-09-16T08:04:27Z

Last time I went to ww I had my second yet biggest gain since starting. Yet it has prompted me to do a proper shop not at all.
Ive been stressing out so much about my food bill due to the glutne free I dread going shopping so instead we go every 2nd day and buy crap! I tell you thats so back to front.
sigh

Birthday

2007-09-04T21:45:12Z

must not eat birthday fudge must not eat birthday fudge, dammit why they send me fudge, full of suger and gluten lol yumo
Have a weigh in at 12:30 today then of for lunch with the mother in law, I think we will go the green turtle, I know there is a yummy bagel dish there, so the only wheat thing will be the bagel. Then off for gluten free cake with son at the contempoarary lounge double yummy.
I feel so spolit this year, I have a beautiful side table made by father in law, it has a beautiful sicomore top that he's done himself. I beautiful neacklace and matching earing and YAY a body shop voucher as the body shop sent me a 20% birthday letter,some very nice sent soap and of course Fudge! and DM is making me dinner.
YAY for birthdays and the beautiful people who go out of there way to make me feel special.

now then let there be snow for my birthday

sexual peak or feeling good?

2007-09-03T23:04:47Z

I' m not sure what it is, but sex is the main topic of the week.

15 kilos

2007-09-02T05:01:46Z

I dropped 900gms this week at this rate I'm dropping only 2. something kilos amonth really thats just not good enough, I've become so laxed over the whole thing.
I'm only 3 kilos of the goal I wished for my birthday which is wednesday, so I can't really kick myself that much. Yet to reach what should be my true wieght at the rate I'm going now it will be december by the time I get there.
I think I need to start getting my snaxs and lunches sorted, as there have been a few days now where I've been caught out and extremly hungry and going without I' m sure thats not going to do much much good in the long run, I'd rather lose due to eating right.
I have noticed I keep having a matallic taste in my mouth and in the evening I feel like bringing my dinner back up. I work hard and making it stay down then some 3 hours later I'm hungry again - whats with that?

I've only done 4 glasses of water today I've another 4 togo. I did manage a banana, the nachos we had for breakfast though....... BAD ME!

pre meeting nerves.

2007-08-29T00:05:10Z

meeting is soon, nervous, not had nearly enough water this week and to prove it my belly is swollen.
Also have to call into new job, which means I'm wearing a heavy skirt as my pants aren't dry and are not allowed in dryer.
Oh my gward I have no clothes!!!!

losing weight does something to your confidence

2007-08-28T04:34:20Z

Yesterday on the bus I noticed a cute guy he sat on one of those seats that lets him see everyone on the bus, yes i looked, I had shades on!
I noticed I was being looked at too, shit was my make up on funny? was my hair messy? gward did I look funny?
funny how my mind flew for every negative thought of why he would look.
I took my shades of and cleaned them, I had this weird feeling I was closely been looked at I briefly looked up and I was! maybe he thought he knew me?
when I got of the bus, so did he, me at the back him at the front, weird as we still crossed paths, I couldn't help it I smiled, he gave me a friendly mischievous grin back LOL.

Yes I'm feeling really confident with all this weight gone, I'm not slim by a long shot, but I do some times look at my own reflection and go wow, looking good.

stress food

2007-08-24T10:22:40Z

stress stress eat eat stress stress forget to eat meals stress stress eat eat stress stress eat eat stresss stress eat eat stress stress

naughty me.

2007-08-17T00:09:04Z

I didn't go to weigh in this week and I feel so out of sink with my eating life.

Food trail wednesday

2007-08-14T23:29:39Z

Its so cold I'm hardly moving, which is silly I should power around to keep warm

1 cup gluten free cereal soy amilk
1 coffee 1ts splenda soya milk
2 pieces of gluten free cheese toast floria butter taste
1 coffee soya milk
a few sips of water

Tuesday food

2007-08-14T06:02:35Z

Mood: stressed nervous happy worried excited cold!

walked since 9am - 5:57pm 4269 steps = 2.433km

1 cup coffee 1ts splender
1 cup gluten free fruit ceral with soya milk
250mls water
1 gluten free savoury muffin
1 gluten free nut bar
1 soya flat white
1 mandarin
half a bowl gluten free fruit cereal
3 pieces of 4 grain gluten free bread with floria
pams oven fries, eggs and bake beans

I'm not eting to keep warm I'm eating because I need to work things out and as I don't have a focused husband at the moment I find I turn to food, GOT TO STOP THAT!

Food trail Monday

2007-08-13T01:03:41Z

Cup gluten free fruit ceral, soya milk
coffee 1tsp splender soya milk
400ml water

I'm depressed.....
ww hotpot meal
3 gluten free cookies
1 coffee

spag bolanaise
1tb rice oil
1 onion
4 cloves garlic
2 zuchinnis
top grade mince
1 can tomato puree

gluten free spag

dessert uh oh
half a gluten free boston bun and cream
1 coffee soya milk
2 mandarins
2 glasses of water

from 10:30am walked 5112 step = 2.913km

uhoh

2007-08-12T22:08:07Z

This morning to decided to measure my height, as I'm getting close to my goal and I remembered when flicking through my blue book she only estimated my height - like I've said in the past my first leader wasn't that good!
It would seem I have a lot further to go than I thought, which really left me feeling down this morning.
Maybe its time my new leader did some one on one work with me grrrr.